I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
