and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
