Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
