Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?

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  (706): Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date? http://tfl.nu/833l
  Replies (60) Good night (593) Bad night (4457)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?

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  (732): So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag? http://tfl.nu/gbd7
  Replies (35) Good night (3578) Bad night (875)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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  (219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did http://tfl.nu/cili
  Replies (10) Good night (1137) Bad night (7069)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.

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  (970): I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that. http://tfl.nu/622i
  Replies (20) Good night (2484) Bad night (4745)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER

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  (203): my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER http://tfl.nu/olos
  Replies (30) Good night (1058) Bad night (5448)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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  (704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1
  Replies (13) Good night (4921) Bad night (1132)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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  (502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a
  Replies (25) Good night (4496) Bad night (1609)
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  (516): View more from New York

  In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea

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  (516): In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea http://tfl.nu/v7d1
  Replies (21) Good night (1482) Bad night (5215)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4521) Bad night (1428)
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  (212): View more from New York

  at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver

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  (212): at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver http://tfl.nu/1ssj
  Replies (10) Good night (2253) Bad night (1263)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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  (602): I think mounting someone proves who's house this is http://tfl.nu/3n41
  Replies (5) Good night (1658) Bad night (780)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

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  (319): I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/0zto
  Replies (16) Good night (1038) Bad night (2376)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?

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  (613): have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics? http://tfl.nu/lk3z
  Replies (7) Good night (1444) Bad night (698)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance

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  (732): got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance http://tfl.nu/oovm
  Replies (8) Good night (2241) Bad night (657)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.

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  (443): Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude. http://tfl.nu/yo4l
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (1048)

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