I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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