My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.