Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Did someone propose they get off the stage?

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  (312): awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!! (708): Did someone propose they get off the stage? http://tfl.nu/mqed
  Replies (15) Good night (2268) Bad night (521)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore

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  (339): That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore http://tfl.nu/dkgm
  Replies (1) Good night (1919) Bad night (728)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

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  (478): wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward. http://tfl.nu/6j2p
  Replies (13) Good night (928) Bad night (2052)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Well thats $24,000 well spent.

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  (706): Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me. (1-706): Well thats $24,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/bc5q
  Replies (35) Good night (3062) Bad night (879)
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  (949): View more from California

  dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

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  (949): dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt http://tfl.nu/6eac
  Replies (42) Good night (854) Bad night (6531)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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  (507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x
  Replies (7) Good night (3661) Bad night (755)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.

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  (+41): look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent. http://tfl.nu/4y57
  Replies (20) Good night (6396) Bad night (644)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.

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  (845): The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor. http://tfl.nu/klg7
  Replies (5) Good night (3878) Bad night (1400)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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  (615): I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us. http://tfl.nu/3t30
  Replies (24) Good night (7595) Bad night (994)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"

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  (503): He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy" http://tfl.nu/s0u1
  Replies (14) Good night (4109) Bad night (1006)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

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  (724): I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do. http://tfl.nu/rr6r
  Replies (20) Good night (1156) Bad night (2082)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"

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  (774): If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?" (774): It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?" http://tfl.nu/cbil
  Replies (8) Good night (2592) Bad night (653)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.

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  (647): I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat. http://tfl.nu/9m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.

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  (405): There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home. http://tfl.nu/1q6j
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.

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  (352): You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on. http://tfl.nu/uyd0
  Replies (2) Good night (253) Bad night (143)

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