Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex