i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Life is so much better after having sex.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.