fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.