my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?