After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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