Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I understand Curling. That high.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
