I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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