How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
