His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize