we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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