I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize