Yo dont text me then not text me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
