Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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