Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
