i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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