I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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