I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the day after is always just damage control
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
