Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
