apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
