Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
