i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
