just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
