Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
