So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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