Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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