now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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