apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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