The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
