Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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