Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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