i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
