Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
