That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
