butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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