I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
