Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize