great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
