It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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