so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
