IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize