I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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