Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
