Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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