Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize