I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
