I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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