Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
