so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
