okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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