I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
