What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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