It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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