He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
