Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
