we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
