I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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