the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we're making bets on your personal life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
