I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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