Who wears a wallet chain?!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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