shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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