Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
