The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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