and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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