Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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