Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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