Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
