I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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