I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize