I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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