It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
