On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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